This International Women’s Day, the theme is #GiveToGain, a powerful reminder that generosity and collaboration aren’t just nice-to-haves. They’re critical to forging lasting gender equality.

In our work with leaders and teams from across the globe, we’ve noticed that people generally fall into one of three camps:

  • Takers position themselves at the centre of every agenda.
  • Matchers operate on a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” basis.
  • Givers go the extra mile – not because they have to, but because they genuinely want to.

So, which one are you? And more importantly, how do you ensure you stay firmly in the giver camp?

Here are four pitfalls to watch out for and how to avoid them.

1. Don’t make it transactional

Real giving starts with empathy. It’s about understanding what someone truly needs, not simply offering what’s easiest for you. There’s a big difference between giving someone an answer and coaching them to find their own way forward. One solves a short-term problem, the other builds long-term confidence. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes allows you to make a genuine connection with them. Giving, in this way, helps you build stronger relationships based on mutual trust and respect.

2. Don’t wait to be asked

Many people find it incredibly difficult to ask for help. They worry it will be seen as weakness, so they struggle on in silence. For leaders and managers, the responsibility is not to wait for a raised hand, it’s to notice the signals and give them support proactively. Take a moment this week to think about the people around you who might benefit from your support. A simple offer to help could make a big difference.

3. Don’t just tick a box

Whether it’s a diversity initiative, an annual review, or even an IWD post – there’s always a risk of ticking the “do your bit” box and thinking you have ‘given’. When it’s really about investing your time and attention in other people.  This could be regular coaching conversations, honest feedback, or space to grow. Going the extra mile for people isn’t always easy – but it’s always worthwhile.

4. Don’t do it for what you get out of it

It’s easy to believe we’re giving selflessly while still quietly keeping score. True giving means supporting others because it’s the right thing to do, whether that’s mentoring a colleague, championing women in leadership or helping the next generation go further than we did. Ironically, when we give without expectation, we often gain the most: stronger relationships, deeper trust, and greater fulfilment. But those gains should always be the by-product, not the motivation. It’s about paying forward to make change happen.

So, on International Women’s Day, remember that being a true giver isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing things differently – with empathy, intention, and a genuine commitment to giving yourself to others.